Thursday, June 10, 2010

Swedish Tourist Brained by Rock-Wielding Whirling Dervish

On the evening of June 9th, 2010, a Swedish ornithologist was gravely injured by a rock that plummeted off the dolomite cliffs of Uluwatu Resort. The unsuspecting bird-enthusiast was taken to a 1 band-aid - 1 cot facility where his condition is reportedly “touch-and-go”. The offending rock is believed to have been thrown by a male suspect who is approximately 2 ½ feet tall and weighs about 25lbs. Onlookers describe the culprit as having sandy blonde hair and an impish smile. One man characterized his quick movements as being similar to those of a whirling dervish. The suspect was last seen wearing a puffy white speedo and an orangish stain on his face (possibly spaghetti. If you see the suspect, please call the authorities and do not approach as he is considered dangerous and prone to sudden outbursts.

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